“You can shake me up, or I can break you down”: Nilsson Schmilsson (Harry Nilsson)

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Year: 1971

Genre: Pop Rock

Preceded by: The Point! (1971)

Followed by: Son of Schmilsson (1972)

Related to: not available yet

 

 

Not in any way obstructed by the open curtains, the bright morning sun suddenly intruded the room very forcefully, and soon put a ruthless spotlight on my face, changing black into orange. Meanwhile, a tiny dwarf seemed to walk through my hair, tapping on my forehead with his tiny hammer in a very accurate rhythm, perhaps celebrating the fact that I’d just successfully eaten an ashtray. Anyway, according to my morning routine I grasped at the spot where my glass of water is likely to stand, but there was no glass, neither a place where it could have been. I had no choice but to open up my eyes, the first thing I saw being the ugly as hell tablecloth that had served as my blanket. Our blanket, as it soon became clear that there was a soaked woman beside me, also reasonably skinny and therefore allowing this small old couch to be our bed. Slowly it began to dawn on me that we eventually ended up in Johnny’s house last night; I got up and chased after some water.

Johnny was already sitting at the kitchen table, in his bathrobe, with a glass of milk and a cigarette. We wished each other good morning by means of a mutual smile that didn’t need any words, I gobbled up half a liter of water and went searching for Paul in the wood breathing house. He was in a room at the backside, lying next to a woman at least twice his age. I threw some water in his face.

P: Richard? … Where the fuck are we?
R: Johnny’s house.
P: Johnny’s house? Who the fuck is Johnny?
R: Johnny Niles!
P: Shiiiiit. Who’s this woman?
R: OK, so at least it’s not your mother. We raised hell with Johnny last night.
P: Shit man, what time is it? I gotta let the people know I’m gonna be late!
R: You go be all you can be, man. We’re in the kitchen.

The kitchen was meanwhile wrapped up in smoke, and Johnny had treated himself with the first beer of the day. I put on the white record that was lying next to his record player and joined him for breakfast. Some minutes later, Paul stumbled in.

P: OK, can somebody tell me what happened last night?
J: So Miss Alzheimer couldn’t remember, could she?
P: Fuck you, Johnny.
R: You called me yesterday evening, asking me if I could drop by. When I arrived, you were howling along some completely over the top seventies production, like a freakin’ teenager, telling me that you could not live without her, that kind of shit you know. You said that she had left once again, and that ‘it was very lonely at the bottom of your existence’, really, really sad, man. So I called Johnny, who just got back from London.
P: Brilliant plan man, for my life wasn’t worth saving anyway?
J: Hey, fuck you man. And apparently, she’s breaking your heart, so fuck her. Man, I brought you my best bottle of whisky.
R: He surely did. It totally got you over it, and Johnny took us for a ride across town afterwards.
P: Great, you really wanted to get me killed.
J: Hey, sometimes an idea is just too good for it to be spoiled by responsibility. By the way, it totally cleared your head. You kept on talking about all those people we drove along, all looking very frustrated, depressed, and even angry, and having nothing to say to each other. We talked about how you could read the problems from all people’s faces nowadays, how tired everybody seemed to be from having to look at each other, diverting their glance when they pass by.

Eventually, we drove to the top of the hill to see them all, and the rest of the city, in one view. We had a couple of reefers and from what I remember, I was staring for half an hour at a nocturnal breeze and a lovely moonbeam, chasing each other through the city’s airspace, really fabulous. Could I perhaps offer you something, Paulie? There’s milk, vodka, some beers.
P: Thanks John, but my head is still exploding.
J: Which is exactly why I’m offering. The cause is the cure, man. Take a beer, put some vodka in it and drink it altogether.
P: Well all right. But where the hell do these women come from?
R: We left the car behind at the hill and walked to the valley below. Some people were having a campfire at the lakeshore, so we joined them for a couple of drinks and went swimming with these women. Two of them are sleeping it off in this house now.
J: They took us to some roadhouse bar, where you ran into this, well, very experienced lady. You were really drunk as hell and kept screaming ‘Rock me all night long!’ at her. Shiiit, did I have good laugh out there. You know Paulie, back in her youth, let’s say the early fifties, those things still had a completely different meaning.

R: Shit man, is he really throwing up in your sink?
J: Fuck that, gimme a cigarette.

50 Albums you must hear before you buy a house 5.0 (6)

Ten albums you should definitely hear before you sell your house, happy new year:

DOK
Artist Album Year 2013
10 Led Zeppelin Physical Graffiti 1975 *
9 Love Forever Changes 1967 *
8 Van Morrison Astral Weeks 1968 17
7 Radiohead Kid A 2000 21
6 The Velvet Underground The Velvet Underground & Nico 1967 9
5 Bob Dylan Blonde on Blonde 1966 18
4 Jefferson Airplane Surrealistic Pillow 1967 13
3 Paul McCartney & Wings Band on the Run 1973 1
2 The Beatles Revolver 1966 4
1 Radiohead In Rainbows 2007 6
GvZ
Artist Album Year 2015
10 Radiohead In Rainbows 2007 10
9 Bob Dylan Blonde on Blonde 1966 7
8 Pink Floyd Wish You Were Here 1975 19
7 Talking Heads Remain in Light 1980 21
6 Bob Dylan Highway 61 Revisited 1965 8
5 Panda Bear Person Pitch 2007 15
4 Love Forever Changes 1967 3
3 The Beatles Revolver 1966 1
2 Jefferson Airplane Surrealistic Pillow 1967 5
1 The Velvet Underground The Velvet Underground & Nico 1967 2
RKH
Artist Album Year 2015
10 Talking Heads Remain in Light 1980 9
9 Jefferson Airplane Surrealistic Pillow 1967 21
8 The Beatles Rubber Soul 1965 13
7 DJ Shadow Endtroducing… 1996 8
6 Genesis The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway 1974 2
5 Prince Purple Rain 1984 7
4 The Beatles Revolver 1966 6
3 Marvin Gaye What’s Going On 1971 5
2 Bob Dylan Highway 61 Revisited 1965 12
1 Radiohead Kid A 2000 1

 

50 Albums you must hear before you buy a house 5.0 (5)

I went down to the demonstration to get my fair share of abuse, goin’ as much with the river as not:

DOK
Artist Album Year 2013
15 The Beatles Rubber Soul 1965 22
14 The Band The Band 1969 3
13 Pink Floyd Wish You Were Here 1975 14
12 The Beach Boys Pet Sounds 1966 15
11 The Rolling Stones Let It Bleed 1969 *
GvZ
Artist Album Year 2015
15 Radiohead Kid A 2000 26
14 The Beatles The Beatles (White Album) 1968 22
13 The Doors The Doors 1967 *
12 Genesis The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway 1974 4
11 The Rolling Stones Let It Bleed 1969 9
RKH
Artist Album Year 2015
15 Bob Dylan Blonde on Blonde 1966 4
14 Van Morrison Veedon Fleece 1974 20
13 Radiohead In Rainbows 2007 11
12 Van Morrison Astral Weeks 1968 3
11 Pink Floyd The Dark Side of the Moon 1973 14

50 Albums you must hear before you buy a house 5.0 (4)

When the sun beats down and I lie on the bench, I can always hear them talk; if I had ever been here before on another time around the wheel, I would probably know just how to deal with all of you:

DOK
Artist Album Year 2013
20 Genesis Selling England by the Pound 1973 7
19 The Beatles Abbey Road 1969 11
18 The Moody Blues In Search of the Lost Chord 1968 5
17 Talking Heads Remain in Light 1980 30
16 Cream Disraeli Gears 1967 23
GvZ
Artist Album Year 2015
20 The Kinks Face to Face 1966 24
19 Van Morrison Astral Weeks 1968 14
18 Genesis Selling England by the Pound 1973 6
17 Radiohead OK Computer 1997 23
16 The Rolling Stones Sticky Fingers 1971 *
RKH
Artist Album Year 2015
20 Santana Abraxas 1970 31
19 Paul McCartney & Wings Band on the Run 1973 22
18 Crosby Stills Nash & Young Déjà Vu 1970 23
17 The Velvet Underground The Velvet Underground & Nico 1967 17
16 Genesis Selling England by the Pound 1973 10

50 Albums you must hear before you buy a house 5.0 (3)

The sun is eclipsed by the moon, so one way or another this darkness got to give :

DOK
# Artist Album Year 2013
30 The Band Music from Big Pink 1968 12
29 The Doors The Doors 1967 36
28 Brian Wilson SMiLE 2004 10
27 Paul Simon Graceland 1986 2
26 The Beatles Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band 1967 31
25 Neil Young After The Gold Rush 1970 24
24 Electric Light Orchestra Out of the Blue 1977 8
23 Crosby Stills Nash & Young Déjà Vu 1970 16
22 Pink Floyd The Dark Side of the Moon 1973 26
21 Radiohead OK Computer 1997 32
GvZ
Artist Album Year 2015
30 Harry Nilsson Nilsson Schmilsson 1971 *
29 Santana Abraxas 1970 11
28 Smashing Pumpkins Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness 1995 17
27 Kraftwerk Trans Europe Express 1977 *
26 Paul McCartney & Wings Band on the Run 1973 16
25 Crosby Stills Nash & Young Déjà Vu 1970 25
24 The Smiths Strangeways Here We Come 1987 28
23 The Beatles Abbey Road 1969 20
22 Led Zeppelin Physical Graffiti 1975 13
21 Pink Floyd The Dark Side of the Moon 1973 12
RKH
Artist Album Year 2015
30 Pixies Doolittle 1989 36
29 Grateful Dead Workingman’s Dead 1970 *
28 Paul Simon Graceland 1986 15
27 The Beach Boys Pet Sounds 1966 43
26 Kraftwerk Trans Europe Express 1977 *
25 Guided By Voices Bee Thousand 1994 44
24 Steely Dan Aja 1977 *
23 Bruce Springsteen Nebraska 1982 *
22 Radiohead OK Computer 1997 26
21 Donald Fagen The Nightfly 1982 25

50 Albums you must hear before you buy a house 5.0 (2)

Sunday’s on the phone to Monday, Tuesday’s on the phone to me, we had access to too many, too much money, too much equipment, and little by little we went insane:

DOK
Artist Album Year 2013
40 Wilco Yankee Hotel Foxtrot 2002 45
39 Neil Young Harvest 1972 *
38 The Who Who’s Next 1971 *
37 Fleet Foxes Fleet Foxes 2008 40
36 DJ Shadow Endtroducing… 1996 49
35 Santana Abraxas 1970 28
34 Creedence Clearwater Revival Green River 1969 *
33 Blind Faith Blind Faith 1969 27
32 Bob Dylan Highway 61 Revisited 1965 *
31 The Beatles The Beatles (White Album) 1968 *
GvZ
Artist Album Year 2015
40 The New Pornographers Twin Cinema 2005 *
39 The Byrds The Notorious Byrd Brothers 1968 36
38 The White Stripes Elephant 2003 *
37 Sunset Rubdown Shut Up I Am Dreaming 2006 *
36 Spirit Twelve Dreams of Dr. Sardonicus 1970 *
35 Paul Simon Graceland 1986 18
34 UNKLE Psyence Fiction 1998 *
33 Animal Collective Merriweather Post Pavillion 2009 42
32 Rage Against the Machine Rage Against the Machine 1992 *
31 The Kingsbury Manx The Kingsbury Manx 2000 33
RKH
Artist Album Year 2015
40 The Beatles Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band 1967 42
39 Smashing Pumpkins Siamese Dream 1993 *
38 Moody Blues In Search of the Lost Chord 1968 30
37 The Beatles Abbey Road 1969 19
36 Led Zeppelin Led Zeppelin II 1969 16
35 Eagles Hotel California 1976 34
34 Afghan Whigs Gentlemen 1993 27
33 Fleetwood Mac Bare Trees 1972 18
32 Lambchop How I Quit Smoking 1996 40
31 Weezer Weezer (Blue Album) 1994 33